Tears of Remembrance

I had to teach Sharing Time last Sunday and it was about Repentance and Temples. Well I got my sharing time from my mom, because (slap on the wrist) I was NOT prepared, and since my mom had to teach that day, I thought I'll juss use hers! haha so I did, but I kinda put my own twist on it. I implemented the temple into the lesson. So there were 4 cut out footsteps on the floor leading to a picture that they couldn't see because I turned it around. So the first step was Feel Sorry, the second step was Ask For Forgiveness, the third step was Right the Wrong, and the last step was Never do it again. The kids had fun telling me what they should and shouldn't do in a story I had made up. Then I asked them who else do they need to say sorry to...they all raised their hands and said Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ! I was so proud of them. Then I said well (turning around another pic..the temples one) What does the temple have to do with repentance? They all kinda stared at one another. One boy raised his hand and said we need to be worthy to go inside there. I said yes do you know that I had to repent, and my husband had to repent in order for us to take our family to be sealed, and I'll tell you guys it was the best decision I had ever made. By this moment I was in uncontrollable tears...I couldn't stop the tears from flowing, and I knew that the Lord was in my head helping me to remember the most wonderful day of my LIFE. I looked at Ariana who was staring at me, and I instantly remembered the day she walked into the celestial room, along with her brother Jay all in white, and the moment took over me and I explained to the kids that I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who allows us to repent so we are able to live together forever. I am so blessed to serve these little ones, as I looked out to the kids I was teaching a lot of them were teary eyed and I knew that they could feel my spirit. Tears of remembrance are great to shed...I'm glad I learned that last Sunday. :)

DIG DEEP

Life....it's been a tough one. Pulu and I have been married going on 11yrs in Feb. We will have been married in the temple 4yrs. When I think back to where we were and where we are now...I think gosh we've really come far spiritually. BUUUUT I am a woman of doubt. I constantly struggle with having faith! It's one of those things where I have it, or I don't at all. I dislike feeling this way and I try so hard to keep the faith. I am so hard on myself. Just this past year I have literally DUG INTO ME! If any of you have done this, and have overcome it, KUDOS & BRAVO! I'm still inside of me, and it's a hard place to be at the moment. I feel as tho ME has been on the back burner for a while. I feel changed, I feel broken, I feel resentment, I feel fat, I feel confused, I feel stronger, I feel impatient, I feel anxious! I am not miserable...but I do feel these things within me. So I have been dealing with these things and praying to my Heavenly Father to help me along this road called LIFE. While all these feelings are going on, there's one thing I never ever not feel and that's the love that my Savior gives to me when I feel like this. I really give it up to this man! He has never left my side, he has never judged me, he has been there for me when NO ONE ELSE WAS. I am so grateful to have this gospel, because I think often times if I didn't believe in Jesus Christ, where would I be? What would I feel? And who would I turn to? It's a scary thought actually. So one thing I know about me, is that I am in a place in my life right now where I need to have a tune-up! I was talking to my bishop last night about why I am the way I am, and how I got here. You know what he said to me? He said,  I understand, but you need to try to move forward. I sat there in desperation and said "I don't know how?" (in tears). He said How can Pulu help you? I said, I don't know if he can, it's my issue..and I'm trying to overcome this. Then a whisper (Holy Ghost) PRAY! GO TO THE TEMPLE!  I know that my Heavenly Father knows me by name, I know that he wants me to map out and plan my life, so that we can have peace in our home. I know that "Faith without Works is dead." I am digging into me, and I am getting out of this hole I have put myself into. I want to tell my husband that I know I am hard to deal with. I know that he is trying, and I truly do love him. He has stood by  my side, and has been so quiet with his own thoughts and feelings, because he's always trying to deal with mine! He is a great person, and I know he LOVES me very much. I am sorry that I think temporally a lot of the time when he's with me...but I know spiritual growth is all that matters on this earth. I am praying, and striving to be better. In hopes for a better day, a better me, a better us, a better LIFE.

Talk On Sunday...

Me and my Presidency were asked last Sunday to give a talk this coming Sunday on some of the conference talks given last April...we have to in some way relate them to Primary. I am giving a talk on "Our call of Duty" which is so fitting for my position as Primary Pres right lol...I am humbled and nervous to give a talk on Sunday, esp cause I'm last!!! Maybe it's not a bad thing, because I might have 3 mins left haha! No but it has given me a lot of things to think about to learn about and to be humbled about. Preparing for a talk is very time consuming, it takes a lot of thought! I am ready to learn and to teach those who need this talk I am preparing. I will have to let ya'll know how it goes when I'm done! Prayers are needed!! haha

Service

When I first got called to be the Primarys 2nd counselor I was ecstatic!! Then when I really got into the meetings, the calling, the sharing times, the kids, everything else...I wasn't so ecstatic about it!! But today was my AHA moment! I LOVE MY CALLING! I know that I work well under pressure...I had such a busy weekend and my lesson today could not have been better! We played a game called LDS SQUARES. It's like that game show "Hollywood Squares" or tic tac toe! I mean it was so last minute, but the kids LUUUUHHHVED it so much, and so did the teachers. I'm glad that I am able to reach out to the children. I absolutely love this calling, and I know that the Lord blessed me to work with these amazing beautiful children. Our chorister in Primary asked the kids and teachers to write down on paper what our fave song was...I sat there for a while thinking, and guess what I put down? "HELLO HELLO" song!! I love it because it's the song we sing when we have visitors. I guess it's the missionary in me that makes me love this song! Anyway if you're not familiar with the song here are the lyrics
"Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello! We welcome you today, HELLO, Hello Hello Hello Hello we're glad you came our way...to share with us our Primary day, and be our friends in..a..very..special..way. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, We welcome you today (shout) HELLO!!!

Words from our Leaders

I always watch conference, and I have to have to have to take notes. It's a trait I picked up from my parents back in the day. I love to write down things each apostle/leader/prophet talks about so that I can remember. I also like to look back at my notes from past years and see what that person had talked about, it's also fun to just see what talks stood out to me most. My favorite talk this year was by Bradley D. Foster he gave a beautiful talk about Mothers and how we are natural nurterers. There was a quote I loved which was said by the Stripling Warriors who said "We did not doubt, our mothers knew it." This really touched me because sometimes us mothers feel that we aren't doing allll that we can, and to think that if our sons/daughters were to go off to war/missions/school, and say that statement...I would be one happy & proud mother! This conference was all about FAMILIES, CONVERTS, & FALLEN AWAY MEMBERS...this gives me tons of ideas and ways that I can help myself within my family, fallen away family members, and making the ones that come back and converts feel more at home in the ward. It's so simple for me as a member to do my calling, go to church, and pay tithing. I need to step it up and get to know those who have recently come back to church, seek out the converts, open up my mouth to my family & friends who have fallen away. The time is now, and I'm excited to do this, because I know it is the will of our Father in Heaven :) I hope you all were as edified as I was this 180th General Conference!

part of the story I loved, u can read the whole talk on ksl.com
"Because it was so hot," he said, "the little calves kept running off into the trees to find shade. My thoughts turned to the youth of the Church who are sometimes distracted from the straight and narrow path. I also thought about those who have left the Church or who may feel the Church has left their heart, while they were distracted. I though to myself that a distraction doesn't have to be evil to be effective — sometimes it can just be shade."

HUMBLE MYSELF

I've been thinking a lot lately about things that have gone on in my family life. I came to the realization that I pick up lots of things from other people. I guess you could say bad habits were picked up from others. I always believed in that saying "You are who you hang with" I know that is such a true statement from hanging out with....FAMILY MEMBERS! Yes even family can affect ourselves, the way we think, act, everything! I am not bashing our families, just saying that I noticed that I was being very ungrateful, envious, and all about MONEY! I can't believe I didn't notice how much I was involved in this way of thinking...but I always see when I learn something and when I need to learn something. Usually it's through others, and usually I get hurt. I'm glad that this happened to me tho, because every now and then I need to check myself and get a tune up! lol...I'm grateful for my savior for giving me these trials, and lessons to be learned because it strengthens my testimony and helps me to understand others who are going thru the same things that I do. I hope and pray that my anger, resentment, and feelings of annoyance will subside...because it hurts ME more than anything, or anyone else! I need to accept and forgive and move forward. LESSON LEARNED!
P.S.
I still love my family (inlaws too) just keepin it real :) Take no offense please, and if you do...keep it to yourself lol..jk

Nephi Chapter 5 :)

We have started reading the Book Of Mormon as a family. This is the first time we've ever read the Book of Mormon together. It's brought the spirit in our home. I've noticed that I can focus on what needs to get done in our home. My kids aren't so bothersome to one another, and Pulu is a lot more serious about his calling, not to say he wasn't b4, I just notice how much more passionate he is about it. Anyways so we are reading 1st Nephi and what has helped our kids soo much is the fact that they watched the Book of Mormon stories on DVD (thanks to my mother in law she has all of em) They have a greater understanding and kind of know what's going to happen all ready. Ariana is totally into reading it, and she'll notice what parts were missing in the movies. It's amazing to me how kids as young as ours can like and have an interest in the scriptures. I know when I was their age, I wasn't at all. Not saying that my parents didn't teach me well, because they did the best they could. My parents made us read the scriptures and I'm so happy they did because now I know how to teach my children how important it is to read and to know how Jesus Christ was and all the prophets before our days were. It really gives them an insight to how things were back then, and to appreciate how much agency we have today in these latter days! Hope you all can start reading. If you haven't read it, please give it a try and have an open mind. It's an amazing account of what we Latter Day Saints believe. Our goal as a family is to read the whole book by Oct. Hopefully we can get that goal, if not atleast by the end of the year. I challenge you all out there reading, to do the same!!! Happy Reading :)

p.s.

watch the video on my ipod...my all time fave talk of the book of mormon & Joseph Smith given by one of the apostles Jeffrey R Holland :)

forgiving my mom quote - Google Search

"I blame my mother for nothing, but forgive her for everything."

Realizing...

I went to a baby boys funeral recently and I was so sad throughout the whole thing. I have an 8 month old and I couldn't even imagine not seeing my baby's lil face every morning. My heart was broken at the thought of SIDS taking my lil baby away. My heart mourned for this young mother. It still does. So I have been reading this blog called Six Maile Chix it's about a young mother to six girls who lost her husband!!! I can't even imagine that! It's brought me so much more love and appreciation for the loved ones I have and hold close and dear to my life! I read something that she had posted and really pondered on it for a looong time. Something I realized and never realized or thought of b4. She wrote how lonely and how much she longed to see her husbands face. She talked about how she weeps and cries for her hubby. I was bawling my eyeballs out reading this. Then her next post she wrote how she and her daughters were mourning the loss of him when she thought how does "he" feel? Is he mourning for them? He is all alone, did he cry for them? I read Alma 40:12 and it says "And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow." My understanding of paradise is the beach. So to me I feel that they are there to overcome their sorrows and pain, all their troubles. So I thought wow they do mourn too! They are just taken to paradise to do it. It made me think of death in a different way. I always thought poor mother who lost her baby to SIDS, poor mother who lost her hubby and has 6 girls to raise alone. I have never thought poor husband who left his family behind, poor baby who left his parents, and 5 other bros and sis behind. Just a realization I learned. It makes me more hopeful and happy about the resurrection! If you guys would love a good read please follow this link http://sixmailechix.blogspot.com/ you will have a deep appreciation for the loved ones in your life. I am grateful for the ones even that much more because of her blog thank u Abby! Even if u never read this!

INSPIRED

Last night while visiting with one of my best friends I decided I would make a blog about all the Spiritual things I've learned. I have so many and I decided I should share! My faith is LDS (Latter Day Saints) some may know it as "mormon" but we are LDS. I have been a member all my life, but I gained a sure knowledge of my faith when I was 25yrs old which was only a few years ago.

Pulu (husband) and our lil family had moved to So Cal. so that he could attend college out there and play football. We knew it was right to move out there so he could have an opportunity of a lifetime. Pulu loves loves loves football so it was easy for me to support him in this dream. Needless to say it was really really hard to adjust to Cali life ; the freeways, people, family he had out there, the price!!! We were staying with his cousin and his wife and kids and I HATED staying there! I was so sad, I missed home, I felt uncomfortable, their lifestyle was waaay different from ours, it was just not good. We knew we needed to go to church to get away from this burden, we of course didn't want to attend the same church as them so we decided to try another church not too far. We walked in and were immediately welcomed! We felt like OK this is where we're suppose to be. So the bishop asked to speak to us in his office shortly after sacrament so he could get to know us, which was nice. Short time after we were in his office just talking and telling him where we were from, why we were there and it was pretty brief, then he asked if there was anything we needed from him?...pause...I blurted out "I NEED A BLESSING"! Pulu and the bishop just stared at me as my heart was pounding, it felt as if those words didn't even come out of my mouth, yet I wanted one so bad! It just wasn't like me to say something like that so quick, and straight forward like that. The bishop then looked towards Pulu and said why don't you give her a blessing? Pulu was so confused he didn't know I wanted or needed one? He then asked me why haven't you asked your husband for a blessing? I said because I didn't know if Pulu knew how to give one. Pulu said he had the priesthood but he wasn't sure how to give one because he doesn't have a father figure to teach him. It was sad hearing him say that...so then the bishop said to Pulu that he could annoint me and he will give me a blessing. He asked if I would like a comfort blessing or a sick blessing. I said comfort.

When Pulu laid his hands on my head and repeated the words that the bishop helped him with I was crying. I was crying because he was giving me a blessing for the first time, and I was crying because I really needed a blessing. After Pulu had done that part, the bishop whom we JUST met that day laid his hands on my head and blessed me. I will NEVER EVER FORGET the words he said to me. I had been going thru sooo much out there that there was just NO way he could've said all the things he said to me had it not been straight from my heavenly father! It was beautiful, it was amazing! I was crying hysterically because I KNEW at that moment that my Heavenly Father knew me by name! I knew that the Prisethood was real, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my FAITH was the true and full gospel on the face of this earth. When I look back on that day and think about what had brought me to that point. I know that it was because of the challenge our then Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley gave which was to read the Book Of Mormon before the end of the year and he promised that we would gain a testimony of Jesus Christ! I am so glad I read the BOM and that I gained that testimony.

I am so blessed to have been raised as a member of this wonderful Church, I am blessed to have a husband who holds the Priesthood, I am blessed to know that my savior lives and knows me and loves me! I am eternally grateful for all that I have and for wonderful patient parents who taught me to have the Lord be the center of our lives, and all else will fall into place. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.